Red, Furry, and Evil
August 12, 2005 – 10:12 pm“He must be speaking of the devil”, one might think. “But wait…”, you say, “…the devil is not furry. And what about the pitchfork?” No, friends, I am not talking about the devil (per se). What I am talking about is evil in a new and devious way. More potent than the devil of old and just as frightening in that it preys on our impresionable children. I speak to you today, my people, about Elmo.
It wasn’t that long ago when the must-have toy was Tickle-Me Elmo. I could not turn around in a store without seeing some kind of elmofied fan wear or toy. Elmo, Elmo, Elmo was everywhere. I was not bothered though. I was insulated because I did not have kids. I was protected from all that is Elmo by my childlessness. Call it salvation.
My protection from Elmo ended, however. My son was born. I was still spared much of onslaught of Elmo marketing, but not all of it. He had a few toys that looked like Elmo. But I was yet uninitiated. Now my son is in kindergarten and I have selected from a list some educational software to help my son advance more easily. Elmo’s Preschool is on that list. As an educational tool the software is good. It covers letters, numbers, colors, shapes, and some other necessary stuff. The downside is that the little red beast that the software is themed from talks almost nonstop as the child interacts with it. I have been exposed to the true nature of Elmo’s evil. It is it’s voice. I have yet to understand while the little furry devil has to say his own name all the time (besides the obvious marketing reasons). Perhaps it is good for education and likability…perhaps not. My son has been using the software tonight for about a half of an hour and I am about crack. I have turned the volume down on it some but I think it is just the tone of the creature’s voice that grates on me. Apparently tone overpowers volume in this case. It’s devilry permeates the walls.
I hope that I will get used to it’s maddening intonation since the software is helpful, but I doubt it will happen. I would hate to have to sacrifice my son’s education because of just one bug-eyed little devil-puppet. We will see. 
You must be logged in to post a comment.